‘My Avocado Toast Fund is Not a Slush Fund for Your Wastewater Plant!’: A Westlake Mom’s Outrage Over Pflugerville’s Proposed Water Rate Hikes

Oh, the horror! The absolute travesty! Pflugerville’s city staff has dared to suggest that we—the hardworking, morally superior residents of this fine suburb—might have to pay a few extra dollars a month for water. You know, that frivolous luxury we use to wash our imported marble countertops and fill our infinity pools.

Let’s break this down, shall we? The average water bill could skyrocket to a staggering $211.85 per month. That’s nearly $20 more than what we’re currently paying. Do you know what $20 could buy? Half a latte at that artisanal coffee shop I boycott because they don’t offer oat milk. Or, heaven forbid, a single organic avocado. The audacity of these city bureaucrats, expecting us to sacrifice our avocado toast for something as mundane as infrastructure.

And don’t even get me started on the wastewater plant. Apparently, we’re building something called the Wilbarger Creek Regional Wastewater Treatment Facility. Sounds fancy, right? Wrong. It’s just another excuse to siphon money from our trust funds. Council Member Melody Ryan had the nerve to suggest using the surplus in the fund balance to avoid raising rates. Bless her heart. Doesn’t she know that surpluses are for emergency shopping sprees, not debt coverage?

But here’s the real kicker: the city’s annual debt payment is projected to triple by 2029. Triple! That’s more than my Botox budget! And yet, they have the gall to tell us that raising rates now will lower debt payments in the long run. Since when do we care about the long run? I’m too busy organizing a neighborhood watch for rogue food trucks to worry about fiscal responsibility.

So, to the Pflugerville City Council: if you think I’m going to stand idly by while you nickel-and-dime me for basic utilities, you’re sorely mistaken. I’ll be drafting a strongly worded email chain faster than you can say ‘debt coverage ratio.’ And mark my words—I will be speaking to the manager.

In the meantime, I’ll be stockpiling Evian. Priorities, people.