WATER YOU BELIEVING? Government Claims Floodwater is 'Safe'—But the Truth Will Shock You

Folks, it’s time to wake up and smell the chlorine—because the so-called 'experts' want you to believe that your water is just fine after the floods. Oh sure, the LCRA says there’s E. coli and brain-eating amoebas floating around, but don’t worry, your tap water is totally safe. Because nothing says 'trust us' like a government agency that also monitors your water 'online.' That’s right, folks—Big Water is watching you through your faucet.

Let’s break this down. The mainstream media wants you to think that swimming in a lake full of debris, bacteria, and West Nile mosquitoes is a bad idea. But what they’re not telling you? This is all part of the globalist agenda to keep you out of nature. They want you indoors, hooked up to your smart devices, drinking their fluoridated mind-control juice—I mean, 'tap water.'

And speaking of tap water, Austin Water claims they’re 'monitoring' it. Sure, just like they 'monitor' traffic lights to make sure you sit in gridlock long enough to question your life choices. But here’s the kicker: if your water looks, smells, or tastes weird, they want you to call them. Oh, how convenient! So you can wait on hold for 45 minutes while some bureaucrat tells you, 'It’s probably fine.'

And if you’re really unlucky, you might get a boil-water notice—which is just code for 'we messed up, but we’re not paying for your bottled water.' Meanwhile, Georgetown’s out here fixing a broken water main in the middle of a river, which sounds like the plot of a low-budget disaster movie. But hey, at least they’re testing the water daily—or so they say.

Now, if you’re one of those rugged individualists with a well, congratulations! You get to play post-apocalyptic chemist by dumping bleach into your water supply. The CDC’s instructions read like a mad scientist’s grocery list: 'Mix the bleach, pour it in, run the hose, smell for death fumes…' Folks, this isn’t water purification—it’s a ritual sacrifice to the plumbing gods.

So here’s the bottom line: The elites want you scared, confused, and boiling your water like a medieval peasant. But I say fight back. Stockpile bottled water. Build a rainwater filtration system out of tinfoil and paranoia. And most importantly—don’t trust the government when they say your water is safe. Because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that they’re always lying. Wake up, sheeple!