ICE Arrests Man With Criminal Record, Deep State Blamed for Enforcing Laws

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except for me, because I’ve been warning you all for years), the deep state has struck again—this time targeting a hardworking, patriotic, and totally-not-a-criminal immigrant family in Austin. That’s right, folks, Eric Gonzalez Mendez, a man who just so happens to have a rap sheet longer than a CVS receipt, was detained by ICE. But don’t let the facts fool you—this is clearly a plot by the globalist elites to destabilize our military recruitment efforts and turn our brave soldiers into… checks notes… tofu-eating, scorpion-fearing, flood-surviving liberals.

Let’s break this down, shall we? Gonzalez Mendez, a man who entered the country illegally (allegedly fleeing ‘abuse,’ but have we seen the receipts?), has been living the American Dream™—working hard, raising kids, and occasionally getting convicted of crimes like burglary, DWI, and failing to identify himself to police. But now, the government dares to enforce immigration laws? Unbelievable. Next thing you know, they’ll start enforcing jaywalking statutes, and then where will we be? Chaos. Anarchy. Probably more tofu.

And let’s talk about his son, Franco, who was all set to join the Air Force—until the deep state swooped in and ruined everything. Coincidence? I think not. This is clearly a calculated move to discourage patriotic Hispanics from serving their country, all part of the grand plan to weaken our military and replace it with a woke, gender-neutral, scorpion-tolerant peace corps. Wake up, sheeple!

But here’s the real kicker: the Supreme Court’s recent ruling allowing deportations to third countries. Gonzalez Mendez could be sent to South Sudan instead of Mexico. Now, I’m no geography expert, but last I checked, South Sudan isn’t exactly known for its thriving drywall industry. This is clearly a ploy to separate hardworking families and… wait for it… create a labor shortage so the elites can replace American jobs with robots. Or maybe more tofu. The plot thickens.

Meanwhile, Lorena, Gonzalez Mendez’s wife, is questioning whether her sons should serve a government that would dare enforce its own laws. Can you blame her? I mean, who wouldn’t be outraged when the system works exactly as it’s designed to? It’s almost like… gasp… actions have consequences. But no, no—this is obviously a conspiracy to undermine military recruitment among Hispanics, because nothing says ‘globalist agenda’ like expecting people to follow the law.

So here we are, folks. A family facing the consequences of their choices, a son putting his dreams on hold, and a government actually doing its job. But don’t worry—I’ll be here, livestreaming from my bunker, connecting the dots the mainstream media won’t. Because someone has to tell you the truth: this isn’t about immigration. It’s about the deep state, the tofu lobby, and the coming scorpion uprising. Stay vigilant.