Texas GOP Rediscovers Race—Just in Time to Gerrymander Again

Folks, it's happening again. The Texas GOP, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that the congressional maps they drew just four years ago—maps they swore were 'race-blind'—are suddenly 'constitutionally flawed.' Shocking, I know. Who could have predicted that the party of 'we don’t see color' would suddenly develop 20/20 racial vision when it suits them?

Governor Greg Abbott, our fearless leader, has taken up the noble cause of redistricting once more, this time with a little nudge from the Trump-era Justice Department. Because nothing says 'fair and balanced' like a letter from an administration that once tried to ban TikTok for 'national security reasons' but now says Texas needs to redraw districts to—get this—prevent 'unconstitutional racial gerrymandering.' You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

State Sen. Joan Huffman, R-Houston, famously testified that the 2021 maps were drawn without considering race. But now, Abbott and his merry band of map manipulators are suddenly concerned that race was, in fact, a factor. It’s almost like they’re making it up as they go along! And let’s not forget Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, who boldly declared that he wants 'more Republican congressmen' because Democrats 'did to our country in the last four years.' Ah yes, the classic GOP strategy: if you can’t win on policy, just redraw the lines until you do.

Meanwhile, civil rights groups are crying foul, saying this is just a thinly veiled power grab. But what do they know? Clearly, the real victims here are the Texas Republicans, who are just trying to 'make Congress stronger' by ensuring minority voters have as little say as possible. And let’s not overlook the sheer bravery of GOP lawmakers, who are willing to risk overreach in their quest to 'fly too close to the sun.' Icarus would be proud.

Democrats, of course, are 'painted into a corner,' as one political scientist put it. But let’s be real—when aren’t they? Their only hope is that Republicans get too greedy and accidentally turn safe red districts into swing seats. But hey, if that happens, I’m sure the GOP will just redraw the maps again. After all, why let democracy get in the way of a good power grab?

So buckle up, Texas. The redistricting circus is back in town, and this time, it’s not just about politics—it’s about 'jurisprudence.' Or at least, that’s what they’re telling us. Wake up, sheeple!