Democrat Enters AG Race, Immediately Vows to Replace BBQ with Tofu

Oh, great. Just what Texas needs—another Democrat masquerading as a 'lawyer for the people.' State Sen. Nathan Johnson, the latest pawn in the left’s grand chess game to turn Texas into California 2.0, has thrown his hat into the ring for attorney general. And let me tell you, folks, this isn’t just any ordinary power grab. No, no. This is a full-blown assault on your freedoms, wrapped in the deceptive packaging of 'bipartisanship' and 'restoring faith in government.' Wake up, sheeple!

Johnson had the audacity to claim that Ken Paxton—a man who’s been impeached, acquitted, and still somehow standing—hasn’t been serving 'all citizens.' Oh, the horror! Paxton, a true patriot, has been busy fighting the good fight against the Biden regime’s tyrannical overreach, but according to Johnson, that’s just 'right-wing order taking from D.C. institutions.' Translation: Paxton didn’t bow to the woke mob, and that’s a problem for the left.

But here’s where it gets really juicy. Johnson boasts about passing over 100 bills, including one that—gasp—expanded health insurance coverage. Folks, this is how they get you. First, it’s 'affordable healthcare,' next thing you know, they’re forcing you to trade your brisket for kale smoothies. And don’t even get me started on his e-cigarette regulations. First, they come for your vaping, then they come for your guns. Mark my words.

And let’s not overlook the real kicker: Johnson isn’t even up for reelection until 2028. That means if he loses this little AG vanity project, he gets to slink back to his Senate seat like nothing happened. Convenient, huh? Meanwhile, the GOP candidates—actual Texans with actual spines—are gearing up for a real fight. But Johnson? He’s just here to 'work across the aisle,' which we all know is code for 'surrender to the radical left.'

So buckle up, Texas. The deep state’s latest puppet is here, and he’s coming for your liberties—one 'bipartisan' bill at a time.