Round Rock Declares War on Density, Common Sense in Latest Council Meeting

In a stunning display of civic responsibility, the Round Rock City Council has heroically saved us all from the horror of too many homes. That’s right, folks—after careful deliberation (and presumably several strongly worded emails from concerned citizens who’ve never actually set foot in an apartment), the council has unanimously decided that 350 units is just enough housing to keep the poors at bay without completely ruining the aesthetic of downtown. Because nothing says "quaint Texas charm" like a sea of surface parking lots where a parking garage could have been.

But wait, there’s more! The project, which sits on a floodplain (because why not tempt fate?), will now include a public trail along Lake Creek. Because nothing soothes the soul like a leisurely stroll past the very waters that could one day swallow your overpriced duplex whole. And fear not—engineers will conduct a floodplain analysis, which is basically just a fancy way of saying, "We’ll check if your future living room is also a future swimming pool."

Meanwhile, upstream, the city is building Dam 101 (sounds like a community college course: Flood Mitigation for Dummies), which will allegedly prevent the whole development from becoming the next Atlantis. But let’s be real—if the dam fails, at least the residents will have waterfront property. Temporarily.

In other groundbreaking news, the council also graciously allowed a church to exist on Gattis School Road. Truly, a miracle. And in a move that will shock absolutely no one, they’ve temporarily lowered the speed limit near the Immortal Ten Bridge, because nothing terrifies suburbanites more than the thought of construction workers judging their lead foot.

So rest easy, Round Rock. Your city council is hard at work ensuring that your neighborhood remains just exclusive enough, your commutes just inconvenient enough, and your flood risks just ambiguous enough to keep life interesting. God bless Texas—and may He have mercy on your property values.