"AUS02": The $440M Server Shed That’s Definitely Not Just for Elon’s AI Side Hustles

In a stunning display of innovation that absolutely no one saw coming, another massive, vaguely named data center is rising from the dusty plains of Bastrop County—just a stone’s throw from Elon Musk’s ever-expanding empire of tech playgrounds. The $440 million facility, codenamed "AUS02" (because why waste creativity on a name when you can just slap a serial number on it?), will sprawl across 578,000 square feet—roughly the size of 10 football fields, or one moderately sized Musk ego.

EdgeConneX, the Virginia-based developer behind this digital Taj Mahal, has secured a sweetheart 10-year property tax break from Bastrop County, because nothing says "disruptive innovation" like good old-fashioned corporate welfare. The best part? This temple of server racks will create a whopping 60 whole jobs. That’s right, folks—for just $1.44 billion, you too can employ roughly the same number of people as a single Chili’s.

While EdgeConneX insists they haven’t signed any tenants yet, let’s be real: This thing might as well have a neon sign flashing "MUSK APPROVED." Nestled conveniently near Tesla’s Gigafactory, SpaceX’s Starlink facility, and Neuralink’s brain-chip labs (because what could go wrong?), the data center is poised to become the ultimate backstage pass for AI companies desperate to ride the coattails of the world’s richest meme lord.

And let’s talk about power consumption. Each of these server farms will guzzle 96 megawatts—enough to light up a small town or, alternatively, power Elon’s next tweetstorm. But hey, who needs reliable electricity grids when you’ve got vibes and a tax abatement?

Meanwhile, Texas officials are high-fiving over the state’s "cheap energy market," blissfully ignoring the fact that their grid occasionally collapses if someone sneezes too hard. But no worries! If the power goes out, the AI overlords can always just reboot themselves.

So buckle up, Austin. Between robotaxis that can’t find their way out of a parking lot, brain implants that may or may not turn you into a cyborg, and now a $1.44 billion server farm with all the charm of a Costco warehouse, the future is here—and it’s powered by venture capital and sheer audacity.