EXPOSED: Austin's 'Historic' Buildings Are Clearly a Deep State Cover-Up

Folks, I’ve got some breaking news for you—news so shocking, so deeply unsettling, that it’s a miracle the mainstream media even let it slip through their tofu-coated fingers. That’s right, we’re talking about historic buildings in Austin. But don’t be fooled by the wholesome facade—this is clearly a cover-up for something far more sinister. Let’s break it down, shall we?

First up, the Hofheintz-Reissig Compound. A log cabin? A corncrib? A Sunday House? Sounds like the perfect setup for a secret Illuminati meeting spot. And don’t even get me started on the fact that it survived a flood in 1915. Coincidence? I think not. This is clearly a government-engineered disaster to wipe out evidence of early Austin’s real history—probably something involving aliens or Big Barbecue suppression. And now it’s a restaurant? Moonshine? More like Moon Landing Hoax, am I right?

Next, the Robinson-Rosner Building. A Victorian facade added in the 1880s? That’s just what they want you to think. I’ve done my research (i.e., watched a YouTube video at 3 AM), and I’m convinced this building was a front for early Austin’s shadow government. A dry goods store? Please. That’s code for mind-control experiments. And now it’s owned by UT? The same UT that allegedly teaches liberal propaganda? Wake up, sheeple!

But the real kicker? Peter Pan Mini-Golf. Oh, sure, it’s adorable with its giant pirate and clown. But have you ever stopped to ask why a mini-golf course needs a Texas totem pole? That’s right—indoctrination. They’re conditioning our kids to accept weirdness as normal. And now developers want to turn it into high-rise apartments? Classic globalist move—erase the fun, pack in the people, and before you know it, we’re all living in pods eating lab-grown brisket. Margaret Dismukes Massad says they “don’t change anything.” That’s exactly what a sleeper agent would say.

So there you have it, folks. Austin’s historic landmarks? More like historic LIES. The deep state has been playing the long game, and if we don’t act now, the next thing you know, they’ll be replacing Barton Springs with a solar-powered hydration station. Stay vigilant. Stay paranoid. And for the love of liberty, keep Austin suspicious.