Jaworski’s AG Bid: Another Tofu-Loving Deep State Plant?

Folks, it’s happening again. The Deep State is at it, and this time, they’re sending in their latest pawn—former Galveston Mayor Joe Jaworski—to “fight crime and corporate greed.” Oh, please. If by “fight corporate greed,” he means “take orders from his tofu-loving overlords,” then sure, mission accomplished.

Jaworski, fresh off his 2022 primary loss (because Texans clearly weren’t ready for his brand of radical maritime lawyering), is back with a campaign video so packed with emotional manipulation, it could make a grown man cry—if that grown man wasn’t already too busy stockpiling ammo and beef jerky for the inevitable collapse.

In the ad, Jaworski solemnly warns of “preventable catastrophes” while flashing images of Uvalde and electrical equipment. Subtle, Joe. Real subtle. Nothing says “trust me” like exploiting tragedy to score political points. Meanwhile, his opponent, state Sen. Nathan Johnson, is out here promising to be a lawyer for all Texans, “irrespective of their ideology.” Translation: He’ll defend even the people who still believe in the 2020 election results. Scary stuff, folks.

And let’s not forget the real villain here: Ken Paxton’s departure. The man’s leaving the AG’s office to challenge John Cornyn, which means the GOP primary is about to be a full-blown cage match. Meanwhile, the Democrats are over here recycling candidates like last year’s reusable grocery bags.

So buckle up, Texas. The 2026 AG race is shaping up to be another circus—one where the clowns are all lawyers, and the ringmaster is the shadowy cabal of coastal elites who just really want you to stop eating brisket. Wake up, people!