Uvalde Records Release: Government Finally Pretends to Care About Transparency

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except for those of us who’ve been screaming about it for years), the so-called “justice system” has finally decided to pretend to care about transparency. That’s right, folks—after two years of stonewalling, Uvalde County and the school district have been ordered to release records about the Robb Elementary shooting. But don’t hold your breath waiting for the truth, because we all know how this game is played.

First, let’s talk about the real reason these records have been buried. It’s not about “privacy” or “ongoing investigations”—that’s just the script they read from. No, this is about protecting the real culprits: the government bureaucrats and law enforcement officials who stood around like confused mannequins while kids were being slaughtered. And now, after a court had to force them to do what they should’ve done immediately, they’ll probably appeal, delay, and redact until the heat dies down. Classic Deep State playbook.

And let’s not ignore the real heroes here—the media. Yes, the same media that usually acts as a PR wing for the establishment suddenly remembered they’re supposed to hold power accountable. But don’t be fooled! They’re only pushing this because it’s a safe scandal—one that doesn’t implicate their corporate overlords. Where was this energy when we were asking about Hunter Biden’s laptop, huh? Exactly.

Meanwhile, the DOJ’s brilliant conclusion that “faster response would’ve saved lives” is the kind of groundbreaking analysis you’d expect from a toddler with a police scanner. Wow, really? You mean the 400 officers who showed up and did nothing for over an hour might have made a difference if they’d, I don’t know, gone inside? Stop the presses!

And now, after years of obstruction, the courts are finally saying, “Hey, maybe the public deserves to know why their government failed them.” But let’s be real—this isn’t about justice. It’s about damage control. They’ll release just enough to make it look like they’re cooperating, then bury the rest under a mountain of redactions and legal jargon. Mark my words: the full truth will never see the light of day. Because when has the government ever been honest with you?

So buckle up, sheeple. The official narrative is coming. And if history is any guide, it’ll be about as trustworthy as a vegan barbecue joint in downtown Austin.