Texas Democrats’ Great Escape 2.0: The $15,000 Temper Tantrum

Oh, the drama! The suspense! The sheer audacity of Texas Democrats considering another walkout to protest GOP redistricting. It’s like watching a toddler threaten to hold their breath until they turn blue—except this time, the toddler might actually get fined $15,000 for their tantrum.

Let’s set the stage: Republicans, those dastardly villains, want to redraw congressional districts (again) because, according to former President Trump, the current 25-12 GOP majority just isn’t dominant enough. Five more Republican districts? Why stop there? Let’s just turn the entire state into one giant red blob and call it a day.

Enter the Texas Democrats, clutching their pearls and whispering about 'good trouble.' State Rep. Ron Reynolds, the self-proclaimed troublemaker-in-chief, is ready to break quorum—again. Because nothing says 'effective resistance' like fleeing the state and then slinking back weeks later after accomplishing exactly nothing. Remember 2021? When they staged a grand exodus to Washington, D.C., only to return and watch the voting bill they protested pass anyway? Classic.

But this time, Republicans have upped the ante. Walk out now, and Democrats could face fines of $500 a day—money that can’t even be siphoned from their campaign funds. That’s right, folks, they’d have to dip into their own pockets. And let’s be real, on a $7,200 annual salary, that’s like asking them to pay for a private jet with Monopoly money.

Meanwhile, national Democrats are waving pom-poms from the sidelines, urging their Texas counterparts to 'go on offense.' Greg Casar, Austin’s very own progressive poster child, suggests everything from filibusters to marching—because nothing strikes fear into the hearts of Republicans like a well-organized protest and a strongly worded tweet.

Kendall Scudder, the Texas Democratic Party chairman, is trying to play it cool, insisting that 'the national party doesn’t make decisions for Texas Democrats.' Sure, Kendall. And I’m sure the deep state isn’t secretly controlling Austin’s city council either. (Wait, don’t fact-check that.)

But here’s the kicker: even if Democrats pull off another walkout, the outcome is 'preordained,' according to political scientist Cal Jillson. Republicans will get what they want, because math. Democrats can scream into the void all they like, but at the end of the day, the GOP holds the crayons—and they’re coloring outside the lines with glee.

So, will Democrats walk out? Will they stay? Will they somehow manage to turn this into a fundraising opportunity? (Spoiler: yes.) One thing’s for sure: this special session is going to be a circus, and we’ve got front-row seats to the clown show. Buckle up, Texas. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.