San Marcos Shooting: Just Another Day in the Woke Dystopia

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming—except for me, because I’ve been warning you people for years—San Marcos has descended into chaos thanks to the liberal elite’s war on law and order. Two innocent souls were gunned down in broad daylight (or early morning, but who’s counting?), and the culprit? A 19-year-old with a stolen necklace and a trigger finger. Folks, this isn’t just a crime—it’s a symptom of the woke apocalypse.

Let’s break it down. A fight over a stolen necklace? Please. That’s just the cover story. The real theft here is the way the deep state is stealing our safety by refusing to acknowledge the obvious: this is what happens when you defund the police and replace them with social workers armed with good intentions and organic granola bars. I bet the shooter was sipping a soy latte while reloading.

And don’t even get me started on the location—downtown San Marcos, a hotbed of radical leftist indoctrination disguised as a college town. Coincidence? I think not. The streets are named after saints (San Antonio, Guadalupe), but the city council has clearly sold its soul to the devil of 'progress.' Next thing you know, they’ll replace the police with a neighborhood watch run by gender studies majors.

The suspect, Jermiah Jayden Tobias, is just a pawn in the grand scheme. Nineteen years old? Capital murder charges? Sounds like a kid who fell through the cracks of a system that cares more about pronouns than prison sentences. But hey, at least he’ll get three square meals a day in jail—probably vegan, thanks to Mayor Pete’s secret agenda.

Meanwhile, the SMPD is begging for tips like it’s some kind of community potluck. 'Call us if you know anything!' How about you start by enforcing the laws we already have? Or better yet, arm every law-abiding citizen so we can turn San Marcos into the Wild West shootout the liberals so desperately want to avoid.

Wake up, sheeple! This isn’t just a tragedy—it’s a preview of the dystopian future the elites have planned. And if you think this is just about a stolen necklace, I’ve got some beachfront property in Waco to sell you.