Austin’s Latest Budget Cut: Your Safety (But Hey, At Least the Scooters Are Safe!)

Oh, the horror! The Austin City Council, in their infinite wisdom (or should I say, their infinite desire to appease their tofu-loving, deep-state overlords), has decided that firefighters are just too expensive. That’s right, folks—your safety is now on the budget chopping block, right next to the city’s failed bike lane experiments and their endless funding for avant-garde public art that looks like a toddler’s spaghetti sculpture.

Let’s break this down, shall we? The geniuses running Austin want to cut firefighter staffing from four to three per truck. Why? To save a whopping $8.3 million. That’s chump change compared to the millions they’ve wasted on renaming streets after obscure activists or building those cursed electric scooters that litter our sidewalks like mechanical cockroaches. But no, firefighters—the people who literally run into burning buildings—are where they draw the line.

Bob Nicks, president of the Austin Firefighters Association, called this move "reckless." That’s putting it mildly. It’s like saying a sharknado is "a bit breezy." But don’t worry, Fire Chief Joel Baker assures us this won’t affect public safety. Sure, Joel. And I’m sure the city’s traffic planners totally knew what they were doing when they designed that intersection where three lanes merge into a single bike lane.

Meanwhile, the firefighters union is negotiating a new contract with the city, which is about as productive as trying to teach a goldfish to play chess. Oh, and let’s not forget the vote of no-confidence in Baker after he allegedly decided to withhold help during the Kerr County floods. Because nothing says "public servant" like pinching pennies while people drown. Classy move, Chief. Real classy.

But hey, at least the City Council is on the case! Three whole members showed up to the firefighters’ rally. That’s three more than usually show up to common sense meetings. And let’s be real—if this staffing cut goes through, the only thing burning will be the city’s credibility. But don’t worry, Austinites. When your house is on fire, just remember: the city saved $8.3 million. That’ll really help when you’re hosing down the ashes.

Wake up, people! This isn’t about budgets—it’s about the slow, deliberate dismantling of our city by bureaucrats who care more about virtue signaling than your safety. Next thing you know, they’ll replace the fire trucks with electric scooters and tell us to "just pedal faster." Stay vigilant, Austin. The deep state is coming for your firefighters, and your barbecue is next.

This has been your daily dose of reality from Alex Jaxon. Now go stock up on bottled water and tinfoil hats. You’re gonna need them.