Manhunt or Misdirection? The Shocking Truth Behind Austin’s Latest Crime Circus

Oh, what a shocker—another violent crime in Austin, and guess what? The police actually did their jobs for once! But don’t let that fool you, folks. This whole "manhunt" reeks of distraction tactics. Three whole days to find a guy who was probably hiding in plain sight, sipping on a kombucha at some hipster coffee shop while the cops were too busy ticketing pickup trucks with "offensive" bumper stickers.

And let’s talk about this so-called "witness," the girlfriend. She just happened to escape unharmed while her boyfriend gets whacked? Convenient, isn’t it? I’m not saying she’s in on it, but I’m also not not saying she’s in on it. Maybe she’s part of the deep state’s latest plot to make Austin even more of a lawless wasteland.

And the Bronco? Bloodstained? Please. That’s just the city’s new "art installation"—modern interpretive dance meets true crime. Meanwhile, the real criminals—the ones defunding the police and turning our streets into a Mad Max sequel—are still out there, probably hosting a vegan bake sale to "raise awareness" about gun violence.

But hey, at least they upgraded Duron’s charges to capital murder. Too bad the city council will probably downgrade it to a "misunderstanding" with a mandatory sensitivity training session. Wake up, Austin! The only thing they’re hunting is your freedom.