Texas Cities Ranked 'Most Boring'? Hold My Overpriced Avocado Toast.

Oh, the horror. The absolute travesty. A study has dared to suggest that some of Texas’ most beloved cities—Corpus Christi, San Antonio, and gasp Houston—are, in fact, boring. Excuse me while I clutch my artisanal, locally sourced, small-batch pearl necklace.

First, let’s address the elephant in the room: Corpus Christi, the third most boring city in America? Please. Where else can you enjoy the thrilling pastime of watching seagulls fight over a single French fry on the beach? And sure, the culinary scene might consist of 90% chain restaurants, but have you tried the Olive Garden there? It’s basically Italy.

Then there’s San Antonio, the city that somehow managed to turn a historic battle site into a place where tourists take selfies with a somber expression before immediately buying a margarita the size of their head. The study claims there’s no nightlife, but have these researchers seen the River Walk after 9 PM? It’s like a real-life game of Grand Theft Auto: Tex-Mex Edition.

And Houston. Oh, Houston. The city NASA calls home, where you can literally go to space, but apparently, that’s not exciting enough. Maybe if they added a Michelin-starred food truck to the International Space Station, they’d finally get some respect.

Look, I get it. The study used data and numbers and facts. But as someone who once spent an entire afternoon debating whether Austin’s queso is truly authentic (it’s not), I can confidently say: Texas is never boring. Unless, of course, you’re stuck in traffic on I-35. Then, yeah, it’s a snoozefest.

So, to the researchers at FinanceBuzz: next time, maybe try actually visiting these cities. Or at least get a better Yelp algorithm. Until then, I’ll be here, defending the honor of Texas’ most underrated attractions—like the time I saw a guy ride a horse into a Whataburger. Now that’s culture.