Abbott Vetoes Common Sense (Again): Texas Lawmakers Beg Governor to Let Them Warn You Before You Die

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except for me, because I’ve been screaming about it into the void for years), Texas lawmakers are once again trying to pass a bill that would—wait for it—allow people to sign up for emergency alerts when they get their driver’s license. Revolutionary, I know. But don’t worry, Governor Abbott is here to save us from the tyranny of… checks notes… being warned about floods before they drown us.

Yes, folks, back in 2019, our fearless leader vetoed this very bill because, and I quote, 'local governments—not the State—should be in charge of gathering and managing this type of data.' Translation: 'Why should I do something when I can just blame the locals when things go wrong?' Classic Abbott.

Now, after flash floods killed over 100 people (but hey, at least they died free, right?), the bill’s authors are back, begging Abbott to reconsider. Because apparently, saving lives is a 'no-brainer'—unless you’re the governor, in which case it’s a 'no, thanks, I’d rather not.'

But let’s not forget the real victims here: the poor, overworked emergency alert systems that have to compete with Texans’ insatiable desire to ignore warnings. A recent study found that Texans turn off phone alerts more than residents of any other state. Shocking, I tell you. Who could have predicted that a state where 'hold my beer' is considered a valid life strategy would also ignore dire weather warnings?

And let’s talk about Kerr County, where officials have been begging for sirens because, surprise, cell service doesn’t work when you’re being swept away by a river. But hey, why invest in sirens when you can just pray for the best? After all, Abbott’s motto is 'Hopes and Prayers: Texas’ Official Emergency Response Plan.'

So here we are, folks. Another special session, another round of lawmakers pretending they care, and another chance for Abbott to veto common sense. But don’t worry—if you die in a flood, at least you’ll die knowing your governor fought valiantly to protect your right to be uninformed. God bless Texas.

P.S. If you’re still reading this and haven’t signed up for emergency alerts, congratulations—you’re part of the problem. But hey, at least you’re free. Free to drown, but free nonetheless.

Alex Jaxon is a freelance journalist and professional alarmist. He does not believe in weather warnings, but he does believe in the deep state’s plot to replace barbecue with tofu. Follow him on TruthSocial @RealAlexJaxon (not verified, because verification is for sheeple).