Abbott’s Veto of Flood Alert Bill Proves Texas Would Rather Drown Than Govern

Oh, what a shocker—Governor Greg Abbott, the man who once vetoed a bill that could have saved lives during floods, is now suddenly interested in "improving early warning systems." That’s like a pyromaniac offering to install smoke detectors after the house has already burned down. But hey, at least he’s consistent in his commitment to doing the bare minimum—right after the disaster, not before.

Let’s rewind to 2019, when Texas lawmakers, fresh off the trauma of Hurricane Harvey, had the audacity to propose something radical: letting people opt into emergency alerts while renewing their driver’s licenses. Revolutionary, right? Apparently not for Abbott, who vetoed the bill with the kind of bureaucratic logic that only makes sense if you’re actively trying to avoid responsibility. "Local governments should handle it," he said, as if counties drowning in budget cuts and red tape are just thrilled to take on another unfunded mandate.

Fast-forward to this month, when flash floods turned the Hill Country into a watery grave for at least 135 people. Now, suddenly, the same bill is back on the table. Coincidence? Or just Abbott’s patented strategy of "wait until people die, then pretend to care"?

And let’s talk about these "voluntary" alert systems. Only 8% of Austin-area residents have signed up for WarnCentralTexas. Why? Because nobody knows it exists! It’s like hiding a life raft in a locked closet during a flood and then being surprised when people drown. But hey, at least we’ve got IPAWS—the federal system that blasts alerts to every phone in range. Too bad half of Texas turns those off because we’re too busy getting spammed with Amber Alerts for missing cows.

Meanwhile, Kerr County officials have been begging for sirens for years, only to be denied three times. Because nothing says "pro-life" like refusing to fund basic warning systems in flood-prone areas. But don’t worry—Abbott’s spokesperson says the governor is "looking forward" to working on this in the special session. Translation: "We’ll form a committee to discuss forming another committee, and by the time anything happens, the next flood will already be here."

So here’s the real emergency alert Texans need: Wake up, people! Your government would rather spend time debating bathroom bills and banning books than actually saving lives. And if you’re waiting for Abbott to take action, you might as well start building an ark. Because in Texas, the only thing rising faster than floodwaters is the sheer incompetence of our leadership.

P.S. If you’re still not signed up for local alerts, do it now. Or don’t. Either way, Abbott’s thoughts and prayers are standing by.},