Barbecue or Brainwashing? The Globalist Plot to Destroy Texas BBQ (And Your Freedom)

Folks, I’ve got some shocking news for you—news so disturbing, so blatantly orchestrated, that it’s clear the globalist elites are at it again. That’s right, the so-called "Masters of the Flavor: Barbecue Showdown" is nothing more than a thinly veiled psyop to distract you from the real meat crisis: the slow, insidious replacement of real Texas barbecue with… fusion cuisine. Wake up, sheeple!

First, let’s talk about this "barbecue showdown" between Texas and Oklahoma. Oklahoma? Really? Last I checked, Oklahoma’s greatest culinary achievement is gas station fried chicken. But no, suddenly they’re "worthy competitors"? This is textbook divide-and-conquer tactics—pit two red states against each other while the coastal elites laugh and push their avocado toast agenda. And don’t even get me started on the $225 ticket price. That’s not just a meal—that’s an indoctrination fee. You’re paying to be brainwashed into accepting Oklahoma as a barbecue state. Disgusting.

But wait, it gets worse. Aaron Franklin—yes, the Aaron Franklin—is now hosting a pop-up series with Korean and Laotian food. Let me repeat that: Korean. And. Laotian. Since when did brisket need kimchi? This is a full-scale assault on our Texan heritage, folks. They’re not even hiding it anymore! "Backyard BBQ Summer Series"? More like Backyard Betrayal Summer Series. And don’t be fooled by the "flood relief" angle—this is just a smokescreen to funnel money into the globalist foodie-industrial complex.

Mark my words: next, they’ll be putting quinoa in our sausage and calling it "artisanal." Stay vigilant, patriots. Guard your smokers. And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t let Oklahoma win.