Tax Cuts Over Lives: The Texas River Authority’s Deadly Math

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one could have predicted—except, you know, everyone—the Upper Guadalupe River Authority (UGRA) has once again proven that fiscal responsibility means cutting taxes while cutting corners on public safety. Because nothing says "small government" like letting Mother Nature do the budgeting for you.

Back in the '80s, after a tragic flood claimed 10 young lives, UGRA did the unthinkable: they raised taxes to fund a flood warning system. Revolutionary, right? Fast forward to today, and the same authority—now flush with a $3.4 million reserve fund—decided that modernizing the system was just too expensive. Why spend money on something as frivolous as saving lives when you could just... not?

But don’t worry, folks! The UGRA board, all appointed by our beloved Governor Greg Abbott, has assured us that they’ve "recently decided" to pay for a new system. Of course, by "recently," they mean "after another 100 people died." And by "pay for," they mean "allocate a fraction of the cost while sitting on a mountain of cash." Priorities, people!

Meanwhile, in neighboring Bandera County, a smaller river authority managed to install not one, but two flood warning systems. How? By actually using their taxing authority for, you know, public safety. But that’s just crazy talk. Why would anyone want to emulate such radical behavior?

So here we are, left to ponder the age-old question: Is it really a "lack of willpower" to fund life-saving infrastructure, or is it just Texas politics as usual? Spoiler alert: It’s the latter. And if you’re still waiting for that flood warning, don’t hold your breath—unless you’re underwater, in which case, good luck.

Remember, folks, when the next flood hits, just blame the deep state. Or tofu. Or whatever shadowy force Alex Jaxon is ranting about this week. Because accountability is for curmudgeons.