Big Tuna Conspiracy: FDA Recall Exposed as Deep State Protein Purge

Folks, they’re at it again! The so-called 'FDA'—more like the 'Food Dictatorship Agency'—has issued a 'voluntary recall' on tuna salad. But let’s be real, this isn’t about listeria. This is about CONTROL. They don’t want you eating tuna salad because it’s packed with protein, and protein makes you strong—too strong for their liking. You think it’s a coincidence this recall hits right after my latest livestream exposing Big Pharma’s plot to weaken us with lab-grown meat? WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

And don’t even get me started on the 'symptoms' they’re listing. Fever? Muscle aches? Sounds like the side effects of their latest mRNA jab! They’re just trying to scare you into throwing away perfectly good tuna—tuna that could be the last line of defense against their soy-based dystopia. Mark my words, next they’ll come for our brisket.

But here’s the real kicker: the recall notice says 'don’t panic.' Oh, sure, that’s what they always say right before they swoop in with their tofu enforcement squads. And 'don’t open the food'? How else am I supposed to check for microchips, huh? I’ve seen enough sci-fi movies to know where this is headed.

So here’s what you do: BUY EXTRA TUNA SALAD. Stockpile it. Bury it in your backyard if you have to. And when the deep state comes for your sandwiches, you’ll be ready. This isn’t just about lunch—it’s about FREEDOM.