Honda Civic Declares War on Physical Media, Crashes Into Iconic Record Store

In a tragic yet oddly poetic twist of fate, Austin’s beloved End of An Ear record store was rudely introduced to the concept of 'drive-thru shopping' this morning when a car decided to take 'physical media' a little too literally. Witnesses say the vehicle, reportedly a 2007 Honda Civic with a 'Keep Austin Weird' bumper sticker (irony noted), plowed into the side of the store at 7:40 a.m., effectively turning the shop into a pop-up installation art piece titled 'Gentrification: The Final Boss.'

Store owners Dan Plunkett and Blake Carlisle, who have spent the last 20 years curating a sanctuary for vinyl nerds and indie musicians, were reportedly seen shaking their fists at the sky, muttering something about 'the universe’s sick sense of humor.' The store, which just celebrated its 20th anniversary, has hosted everyone from Phoebe Bridgers to Mitski—artists who, coincidentally, have also written songs about life’s cruel unpredictability.

Local punk enthusiasts are already speculating whether this was an act of divine intervention ('Maybe God just really hates Band of Horses?') or a covert operation by Spotify to eliminate the competition. Meanwhile, the Honda Civic’s driver has yet to comment, though sources confirm they were last seen blasting 'Fast Car' by Tracy Chapman on repeat—a choice that’s either a heartfelt tribute or the audio equivalent of adding insult to injury.

As the dust settles (literally), Austin’s music scene is left to ponder the deeper meaning of this catastrophe. Is this a metaphor for the death of physical media? A warning about the dangers of parallel parking? Or just another day in a city where the rent is too damn high and the drivers are too damn distracted? Either way, End of An Ear’s temporary closure leaves a void in the community—one that will now, presumably, be filled by another overpriced juice bar. Stay weird, Austin. Just maybe watch where you’re driving.