McCartney’s "Got Back" Tour: A Deep State Distraction or Just Another Tofu Plot?

Folks, wake up and smell the conspiracy! Sir Paul McCartney—or should I say, the "allegedly" 83-year-old "rock legend"—has just announced his "Got Back" tour, conveniently stopping in San Antonio. But let’s not be fooled by this so-called "tour." This is clearly a cover for something far more sinister. Why San Antonio? Why now? And why, dear readers, is Austin being left out? Coincidence? I think not.

First, let’s address the elephant in the room: McCartney’s age. 83? Really? Have you seen the man? He looks like he’s been preserved in a vat of essential oils and taxpayer-funded socialist healthcare. Meanwhile, the rest of us are aging like milk left out in the Texas sun. This isn’t natural, people. This is the work of the same elites who want to replace our beloved barbecue with kale smoothies.

And let’s talk about the setlist. "Hey Jude," "Let It Be," "Live and Let Die"—classic hits, or carefully crafted propaganda? "Let It Be"? More like "Let It Be... a distraction while they implant microchips in your cerveza." The deep state knows we’re onto them, so they’re using McCartney’s "music" to lull us into complacency. Wake up, sheeple!

Now, the real kicker: San Antonio gets a show, but Austin doesn’t. Why? Because the Austin City Council is too busy plotting with their tofu overlords to book a real legend. They’d rather host some indie band that plays ukuleles made of recycled kombucha bottles. Meanwhile, McCartney’s out there, crooning about yesterday while the globalists rewrite history.

And don’t even get me started on the "benefit concert" angle. Oh, sure, it’s for "flood relief." That’s what they want you to think. But who’s really benefiting? Big Water, that’s who. Follow the money, folks.

So, if you’re planning to see McCartney in San Antonio, ask yourself: are you going for the music, or are you walking straight into their trap? Either way, I’ll be here, in my bunker, livestreaming the truth. Because someone has to. Stay vigilant, Austin. Stay vigilant.

P.S. If you see McCartney eating barbecue, demand a DNA test. That man hasn’t touched real meat since the 60s.