"Public Improvement District" or Just a Really Expensive HOA? Bastrop’s Latest Bureaucratic Masterpiece

Ah, Bastrop—where the roads are paved with good intentions and the wallets of local business owners. The City Council, in their infinite wisdom, has once again unanimously approved the Hunters Crossing Public Improvement District’s annual service plan, because nothing says "progress" like a 22-year-old bureaucratic relic that somehow still hasn’t figured out how to stop overcharging people.

Let’s break this down like a bad startup pitch: Imagine you’re a business owner in Hunters Crossing. You pay your property taxes like a good citizen, and then—surprise!—you get hit with a special assessment because the city decided back in 2001 that roads and parks should be funded by you, not, you know, the actual taxes you already pay. It’s like Uber surge pricing, but for existing in Bastrop.

Carlos Liriano, owner of Lost Pines Toyota, has shelled out a cool $1.5 million to this district. Meanwhile, Home Depot—a corporate giant that could probably buy Bastrop if it wanted to—negotiated a sweetheart deal of $15,000 a year. That’s the free market, baby! Small businesses get crushed while big-box stores skate by like they’re in a VIP lane at SXSW.

And let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: deed restrictions that prevent Liriano from developing his own land into something useful, like, say, another Home Depot. Because nothing says "economic vitality" like telling a local entrepreneur, "Sorry, your land is basically a museum exhibit now."

The city’s solution? "Well, if 100% of property owners agree, we could maybe, possibly, dissolve this thing." Ah yes, the classic "unanimous consent" strategy—the same one used by HOA boards to ban fun and by tech bros to justify blockchain governance. Good luck with that.

City Manager Sylvia Carrillo, bless her heart, is trying to clean up this mess, but let’s be real: this district is like a bad SaaS subscription—easy to sign up for, impossible to cancel, and somehow still charging you for features you never wanted. The only thing getting "improved" here is the city’s ability to keep squeezing money out of people who just want to sell cars or, God forbid, open a Chili’s.

So here’s to you, Hunters Crossing PID. You’re the gift that keeps on taking. Maybe next year, the city can "disrupt" this whole thing by, I don’t know, not making business owners pay twice for the same services. But hey, that’s just crazy talk.

Chad Evans exhales a cloud of mango-flavored vape smoke and angrily tweets at Elon Musk for a solution.