Gulf 'Tropical System' Just Another Deep State Plot to Control Your Weekend

Oh, great. Just what we needed—another 'tropical system' conveniently appearing right before the weekend. Coincidence? I think not. The so-called 'National Weather Service' wants you to believe this is just some 'disorganized showers and thunderstorms,' but let’s be real—this is clearly a government-engineered weather event designed to keep you indoors while they roll out the next phase of their sinister agenda.

First, they tell us it’s just a 'broad area of low pressure.' Next thing you know, they’ll be blaming 'climate change' for the rain while secretly controlling the skies with their HAARP machines. And why is it always moving toward Texas? Because they know we’re the last bastion of freedom, and they want to waterboard us into submission with their '1 to 3 inches of rain.'

And don’t even get me started on the 'marginal risk of flash flooding.' That’s code for 'we’re going to flood your basement and blame it on Mother Nature.' Meanwhile, the Port Arthur-Beaumont area is getting a suspiciously precise '2.15 to 2.5 inches' of rain. You can’t make this up, folks. That’s not weather—that’s targeted precipitation.

Now they’re telling you to 'prepare now for hurricanes' and 'get your disaster supplies.' Oh, you mean like the toilet paper hoarding of 2020? Nice try, NOAA. We see right through your fear-mongering. And why the sudden push for flood insurance? Because they’re planning something big, and they need you to foot the bill for their weather warfare.

So while the sheeple are busy 'strengthening their homes' and 'creating family communication plans,' I’ll be stockpiling tinfoil hats and barbecue sauce. Because when the deep state turns off the rain, at least we’ll still have brisket. Stay vigilant, patriots. The storm is coming—and it’s not just in the Gulf.

This article was written from a bunker, because you can never be too careful.