DEEP STATE DRAMA: Missing Swimmer Just Another Plot to Ban Swimming in Austin?

In a shocking turn of events that the mainstream media definitely isn’t covering properly, two swimmers were allegedly "in distress" near Pennybacker Bridge this weekend. But let’s be real—this has all the hallmarks of a government false flag operation. Why? Because the Austin Fire Department’s so-called "rescue" conveniently happened right near the Plaza on the Lake boat ramp. Coincidence? I think not.

First off, why were these swimmers even in the water? At 6 p.m.? That’s prime time for the deep state to stage their aquatic theatrics. And don’t even get me started on the fact that one swimmer was "rescued" while the other just poof—vanished. Classic misdirection, folks. They want you focused on the "missing" swimmer so you don’t ask the real questions: Who benefits from this? Who’s pushing the narrative that Austin’s waterways are dangerous?

I’ll tell you who—Big Canoe. That’s right. The kayak-industrial complex has been lobbying City Hall for years to scare people out of swimming and into overpriced paddle sports. And now, suddenly, we’ve got "accidents" near a bridge? Wake up, sheeple! This isn’t about water safety—it’s about control.

And where was Mayor Watson during all this? Probably sipping kombucha with his tofu-loving cronies while real Austinites are out here fighting for their right to swim without government interference. Mark my words, this is just the beginning. Next thing you know, they’ll be taxing the Colorado River and requiring permits to dip your toes in Barton Springs. Stay vigilant, patriots. The truth is out there—probably hiding in a secret underground bunker beneath Zilker Park.