opinion
Affordable Housing for Disabled Artists? Heather Worthington Demands to Speak to the Manager
A new East Austin housing project for disabled artists has Westlake’s most *concerned* citizens clutching their pearls—because nothing threatens suburban bliss like affordable rent and community support.
Published July 28, 2025 at 11:00am
In a shocking turn of events that has sent tremors through the gated communities of Westlake, a new housing development in East Austin has dared to prioritize artists and disabled people over the real victims of Austin’s housing crisis: affluent suburbanites who can no longer find a decent $12 avocado toast within walking distance of their McMansions.
Live Make Apartments, a grotesque experiment in affordable housing, has committed the unforgivable sin of providing shelter, studio space, and—gasp—community support to low-income disabled artists. Worse yet, it was partially funded by the city, meaning that Heather Worthington’s property taxes (which she definitely doesn’t avoid through creative accounting) may have contributed to this socialist nightmare.
One resident, Patch Hickey, had the audacity to say he likes living there because people help him with things his brain injury makes difficult. Disgusting. Doesn’t he know that true independence is forged in the fires of unaffordable rent and zero social services?
The complex even has a shared gallery space, where disabled artists display their work—presumably to mock the tasteful beige abstracts that adorn the walls of Heather’s home. And don’t even get me started on the job readiness support. Next thing you know, these people will expect livable wages and healthcare.
Debbie Kizer, the founder of Imagine Art, had the nerve to suggest that this project could serve as a model for improving accessibility statewide. Heather, meanwhile, is drafting a strongly worded Nextdoor post about how this development will obviously lower property values and attract undesirables (defined as anyone who doesn’t drive a luxury SUV).
In related news, Heather is organizing a protest against the complex’s existence, citing aesthetic concerns and the fact that she once saw a food truck parked nearby. Priorities, people.
God help us all if this inclusive housing trend spreads. What’s next? Affordable childcare? Public transit that doesn’t smell like despair? The horror.
Heather Worthington will be hosting a charity luncheon next week to discuss how to stop this madness. Dress code: pearl-clutching formal.
This article was brought to you by the Coalition for Keeping Austin Unaffordable (But Only for the Right People).