Trump Slays Climate Change 'Cult' in Epic Victory for Texas Oil (and Freedom)

In a stunning victory for common sense and the American way, the Trump administration has finally taken a stand against the so-called 'climate change religion' that has been brainwashing our children and destroying our economy. EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin, a true patriot, boldly declared this move as 'driving a dagger into the heart' of this leftist cult. Finally, someone in Washington is standing up to the tofu-eating, bicycle-riding elites who want to take away our God-given right to burn fossil fuels like there's no tomorrow—because, according to them, there won’t be!

For years, the radical environmentalists have been pushing their doomsday prophecies, claiming that greenhouse gases are somehow 'dangerous' to human health. Please. Next, they’ll tell us that breathing is bad for you. These are the same people who probably think wind turbines—those ugly bird-blenders—are the future. Meanwhile, Texas oilmen are just trying to make an honest living powering the greatest nation on Earth, and now, thanks to President Trump, they can do so without the guilt-tripping from coastal elites who probably don’t even own a pickup truck.

Of course, the usual suspects are already whining. The Natural Resources Defense Council, a front for the globalist agenda, is threatening to sue because they can’t handle the truth: climate change is about as real as Bigfoot. And let’s not forget the 'big oil' traitors like Exxon Mobil and Chevron, who’ve been cozying up to the green mob in a pathetic attempt to stay 'woke.' Newsflash, corporate sellouts: the American people don’t want your solar panels and electric cars. We want roaring engines, cheap gas, and the freedom to roll coal past a Prius whenever we damn well please.

But here’s the real kicker: if the Trump administration succeeds, future administrations won’t be able to reinstate this nonsense. That means no more federal overreach, no more job-killing regulations, and best of all, no more lectures from Greta Thunberg. The states will be free to decide—and let’s be honest, Texas isn’t about to start worshipping at the altar of Al Gore anytime soon.

So rejoice, fellow patriots. The war on oil is over, and we won. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to celebrate by firing up my diesel truck and doing donuts in a parking lot—just because I can. Wake up, sheeple! The deep state’s climate hoax is crumbling, and it’s about time.