Austin’s Flood Fiasco: A Masterclass in Government Incompetence

Oh, what a shocker—Austin city leaders are begging FEMA for money again. Because nothing says "responsible governance" like waiting until after a biblical flood to realize, Hey, maybe we should’ve built those levees when we had the chance. But no, let’s blame Trump (classic move) for canceling a program that, according to FEMA, wasn’t even officially canceled. Typical bureaucratic shell game—funds disappear, then reappear, then vanish into the ether like a magician’s assistant. Meanwhile, Austin’s elite are busy drafting strongly worded letters while sewage threatens to overflow into their artisanal kombucha breweries.

And let’s talk about Council Member Zo Qadri, the mastermind behind this plea for federal handouts. Five whole council members signed his letter before someone had the bright idea to let the mayor handle it. Because nothing screams competence like a last-minute leadership shuffle mid-crisis. But hey, at least they’re consistent—consistently unprepared.

Then there’s FEMA, the federal agency that can’t decide if it’s funding flood prevention or just funding confusion. One minute, the BRIC program is "wasteful" and "politically driven" (thanks, Trump admin), the next, it’s totally still active, pinky swear. And let’s not forget Gov. Greg Abbott, who thinks FEMA needs to be "right-sized"—which, in Republican-speak, means "defunded until the next disaster hits our donors."

But fear not, Austinites! The city has a backup plan—applying for another FEMA grant, because why solve a problem with one pile of taxpayer money when you can throw two at it? And if that fails, there’s always the classic Austin fallback: blame the feds, raise local taxes, and hope the next flood washes away the evidence. Stay woke, sheeple. The deep state’s tofu agenda won’t fund itself.

Alex Jaxon is the host of "The Lone Star Conspiracy Hour," streaming nightly from his bunker under the Franklin Barbecue parking lot. Follow him on Truth Social @RealAlexJaxon (not verified, obviously).