PopStroke: Because Austin Needed Another Place for Tech Bros to LARP as Athletes

In a move that has shocked absolutely no one, Austin is getting yet another place where tech bros can pretend they’re athletes while sipping on $18 craft IPAs. Tiger Woods’ PopStroke is swooping in to rescue The Pitch—a place that was, let’s be honest, just a glorified patch of grass where people occasionally tripped over pickleballs. Now, thanks to the magic of corporate synergy, it’ll be a luxe mini-golf experience where you can three-putt your way into existential despair while your startup’s Series A funding burns a hole in your pocket.\n\nThe renovations promise two whole 18-hole courses, because one just wasn’t enough to fully immerse yourself in the agony of realizing you peaked in middle school PE. These aren’t your grandma’s windmills and clown mouths—oh no. These are technical courses, designed to make you feel like a pro while you shank a neon orange ball into a water hazard for the fifth time. It’s like real golf, but with fewer existential crises about your life choices. (Just kidding, those are included.)\n\nBut wait, there’s more! Because Austinites can’t possibly survive without artisanal food options, BarTenders Eatery will be there to serve you overpriced avocado toast while you debate whether NFTs are still a thing. And for those who need a sugar rush to numb the pain of their putting skills, there’s an ice cream parlor—because nothing says athletic performance like a double scoop of mint chocolate chip.\n\nOf course, no modern entertainment complex would be complete without an esports gaming area, because why actually move when you can just mash buttons and yell at teenagers online? And for the corporate overlords who need to justify this as a team-building expense, there are conference rooms. Nothing says synergy like watching your boss whiff a putt and then pretending you didn’t see it.\n\nThe best part? You can pay daily rates or commit to an all-access membership, because nothing bonds Austin’s elite like shared financial regret. So grab your polos, your Bluetooth speaker (because everyone definitely wants to hear your Joe Rogan podcast), and prepare to disrupt the mini-golf scene. Just don’t forget to tweet about it. #PopStrokeHustle #DisruptPutting #AustinButMakeItTiger