Government Hearing on Floods: Bureaucrats Talk, Survivors Wait, and Nothing Gets Fixed

Oh, what a shocker—another government hearing where the little guy gets to wait in line for hours just to be ignored by a panel of 'experts' who probably think 'Big Sandy Creek' is a new craft beer. Ashlee Wilson, a flood survivor who lost her home, is dragging herself out of bed at 5 a.m. to drive to Kerrville, where she’ll sit through hours of bureaucratic grandstanding before she’s allowed to speak for a whopping three minutes. Because nothing says 'We care' like making disaster victims jump through hoops while officials drone on about 'coordination' and 'mitigation.' Spoiler alert: The only thing being mitigated here is the public’s patience.\n\nLet’s not forget the real heroes of this circus—the 25 'invited witnesses,' a who’s who of local government elites who’ll spend hours patting themselves on the back while flood survivors like Brian Keeper are too busy tearing down their ruined homes to attend. 'I wouldn’t know what to say,' Keeper admits. That’s the spirit, Brian! Why bother when you know the system is rigged against you?\n\nAnd let’s give a round of applause to Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, who promised to 'come to the people' and 'stay as long as it takes.' Translation: 'We’ll show up, pretend to listen, then bolt before anyone can ask why we didn’t upgrade the flood warning system when we had the chance.' Meanwhile, Gov. Abbott is too busy redrawing congressional maps to notice that actual Texans are drowning—both literally and metaphorically.\n\nThe real kicker? The hearing’s agenda is packed with the same officials who couldn’t even coordinate a text message during the flood. Kerrville’s city manager was busy firing off frustrated texts about the county’s incompetence, but hey, at least they’ll all get a nice podium to air their grievances—unlike the folks who lost everything.\n\nSo grab your popcorn, folks. This hearing is shaping up to be another masterclass in how to turn human suffering into a bureaucratic sideshow. And remember, if you’re a flood survivor hoping for help, just know the system is designed to 'tucker you out' before you ever get a chance to speak. Wake up, sheeple! The only flood these politicians care about is the one of hot air coming out of their mouths.\n\nRELATED: Why Your Property Taxes Are Funding Bureaucrats’ Coffee Breaks Instead of Flood Prevention (Satire, obviously. Or is it?)