Texas’ Organ Donor List: The Government’s Grocery List for Your Innards

Oh, so you thought your organs were yours? Think again, sheeple! The Texas government, in cahoots with the shadowy organ-harvesting cabal known as 'Donate Life,' has already laid claim to your kidneys, liver, and—if you’re really unlucky—your face. That’s right, folks. You check a little box on your driver’s license, and suddenly, the state has dibs on your spleen. Wake up!

According to the so-called 'Uniform Anatomical Gift Act' (which sounds suspiciously like something a vampire would draft), your family can’t even save you from the clutches of Big Organ once you’ve signed up. 'Individual autonomy,' they say. 'Respect for end-of-life choices,' they claim. Meanwhile, some bureaucrat is probably eyeing your pancreas like it’s a free appetizer at Chili’s.

And don’t even get me started on the living donations. You can just hand over a lung like it’s a spare tire? Who’s running this operation—Black Market Larry from the back alley of a cyberpunk dystopia? Next thing you know, they’ll be offering store credit for your left kidney at Whole Foods.

But fear not, patriots! If you’ve been tricked into this organ redistribution scheme, there’s still hope. You can log into the very trustworthy Donate Life Texas website (no red flags there) and click the 'Withdraw from DLT' button—assuming the system doesn’t 'glitch' and keep you on the list anyway. Better yet, just burn your driver’s license and live off-grid. Can’t harvest what they can’t find.

Remember: if the government really cared about saving lives, they’d start with fixing healthcare—not turning you into a human parts buffet. Stay vigilant, and guard your gallbladder like it’s the last slice of brisket at a vegan potluck.

This has been your daily dose of truth. Now go check your donor status before it’s too late.