Waymo’s Robotaxis Are Coming to Dallas: Prepare for the AI-Driven Midlife Crisis

Great news, Dallas! Your streets are about to get a whole lot more disruptive—because Waymo’s robotaxis are rolling into town in 2026, and they’ve partnered with Avis to make sure your autonomous Uber-but-soulless experience is flawless. That’s right, folks, the same company that brought you overpriced rental cars will now be in charge of making sure your driverless pod doesn’t smell like the last guy’s regret. Innovation!\n\nAccording to Waymo’s press release (which I skimmed while waiting for my cold brew to nitro), this expansion is all about bringing “safe and seamless transportation” to the masses. Because nothing says “seamless” like a car that occasionally stops in the middle of an intersection to contemplate its existence. But hey, at least there’s no human driver to judge you when you drunkenly argue with Siri about the meaning of life at 2 AM.\n\nAnd let’s talk about Avis’s role in this brave new world. They’ll be handling “charging, cleaning, and routine maintenance.” So basically, they’re the Roomba parents of the autonomous vehicle world. Hope you like your robotaxi smelling like a mix of industrial-strength Febreze and existential dread.\n\nWaymo’s co-CEO, Tekedra Mawakana, says this is a “new era” of transportation. And she’s right—because nothing screams “the future” like a car that may or may not decide to take you on a scenic detour through a construction zone while its AI has an existential crisis. But hey, at least it’s disruptive, right?\n\nFor those of you still living in 2025 (lame), Waymo is Alphabet’s pet project to prove that robots can drive—just not as well as your grandma, but with fewer complaints about the music. Their “Waymo Driver” system follows a “Sense, Solve, Go” approach, which is Silicon Valley speak for “hope it doesn’t glitch and drive you into a lake.” So far, it’s working mostly fine in Phoenix, San Francisco, and Austin, where the cars have only been mildly confused by things like rain, pedestrians, and the concept of stop signs.\n\nDallas, get ready. Your streets are about to become a real-life game of Grand Theft Auto: NPC Edition. Will the robotaxi obey traffic laws? Will it panic and freeze when a squirrel runs by? Will it judge you for your late-night Taco Bell runs? The future is here, and it’s gloriously unpredictable. Buckle up (or don’t—the car probably won’t care either way).