EXPOSED: Austin American-Statesman's Photo Spread Reveals Liberal Takeover Plot

Folks, what we have here is a masterpiece of liberal propaganda disguised as 'news.' The Austin American-Statesman—or should I say, the Austin American-Socialist?—has compiled a shocking collection of images that prove one thing and one thing only: Texas is under siege by the radical left, and they’re not even trying to hide it anymore. Let’s break it down, shall we?

First, we’ve got Rep. Nicole Collier (D-Fort Worth) raising a fist inside the House Chamber like she’s leading some kind of Marxist revolution. Coincidence? I think not. This is straight out of the deep state playbook—refusing to leave, refusing to cooperate, all while the media paints her as some kind of hero. Wake up, sheeple! This is how they soften you for the coming tofu dictatorship!

Then there’s the school bus crash in Leander. Tragic? Absolutely. But where’s the investigation into whether this was really an accident? I’m just saying, when was the last time you saw a school bus flip over on its own? Maybe it’s time we ask if the anti-car lobby had something to do with this. You know, the same people who want us all riding bikes and eating bugs.

And speaking of suspicious timing, how about that Target shooting? Three people dead, and what’s the media’s focus? Gun control. Not the fact that the shooter was reportedly connected to an accident near North Mopac Expressway—a road that, by the way, is constantly under construction thanks to our glorious city planners. Coincidence? I don’t believe in those.

Meanwhile, the Democrats are literally fleeing the state to avoid redistricting. Rep. Gene Wu boards a plane like he’s in some kind of Hollywood escape movie, while Beto O’Rourke—Beto!—is out here rallying the troops against Trump-backed legislation. Folks, this isn’t democracy. This is anarchy. And the media? They’re eating it up like it’s a vegan BBQ festival.

Oh, and let’s not forget the Austin Pride Parade, where the Austin Gay Men’s Chorus dances down Congress Avenue like it’s no big deal. Listen, I’m all for freedom, but when did we decide that rainbow capitalism was the hill to die on? Meanwhile, real Texans are out here struggling to unload groceries in the rain because H-E-B won’t even give us covered parking. Priorities, people!

And just when you think it can’t get worse, we’ve got U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—yes, that Kennedy—signing Make Texas Healthy Again legislation with Governor Abbott. Folks, this is how they get you. First, it’s warning labels on your food. Next thing you know, they’re banning brisket and replacing it with soy-based meat alternatives. Mark my words.

But the real kicker? The Texas State Capitol gets evacuated because of a shooting threat while protesters dressed as Handmaid’s Tale characters scream about oppression. You can’t make this up! The left is literally cosplaying their own dystopian fantasies while accusing us of being the extremists. The irony is thicker than a bowl of queso.

So what’s the takeaway? Texas is under attack—not by some foreign invader, but by the very people we elected to protect us. The media is complicit, the Democrats are on the run, and the only thing standing between us and total tofu tyranny is a handful of brave Republicans and a guy in an alien costume promoting his car wash. Stay vigilant, folks. The truth is out there—you just won’t find it in the Austin American-Statesman.