Texas Legislature Shocked to Discover That Lying Is Bad (But Memes Are Fun)

Oh, the Texas Legislature—where logic goes to die and rhetoric goes to thrive. Last week, the House engaged in a riveting debate about whether politicians should be allowed to Photoshop their opponents into compromising positions without disclosing it. Groundbreaking stuff, really.

State Rep. Christian Manuel, a Democrat from Beaumont (yes, they exist), delivered a fiery speech that had even the most distracted lawmakers looking up from their Candy Crush games. Manuel, clearly fed up with the political equivalent of middle-school Photoshop class, declared, "Don't give me any bull crap and tell me that we need to be distorting people's images, lying to people, changing their names, changing their voices, who they voted for."

Ah, yes, because nothing says "democracy" like slapping your opponent’s face onto a meme with Nancy Pelosi and calling it journalism. The bill in question, HB 366, was introduced by former Speaker Dade Phelan, who knows a thing or two about being Photoshopped into oblivion. During his primary, someone decided it’d be hilarious to digitally force him into a loving embrace with Pelosi—because nothing terrifies Texas Republicans more than a Democrat hug.

But here’s the kicker: some conservative lawmakers actually argued that this bill would criminalize satire. That’s right, folks. According to them, slapping a politician’s face onto a donkey or deep-faking their voice to say, "I love taxes," is just good ol’ American humor. Never mind that the only thing funnier than their arguments is the fact that they think anyone believes them.

Manuel, however, wasn’t having it. He pointed out that this isn’t just about hurt feelings—it’s about the very real consequences of turning politics into a WWE smackdown. Families were threatened, neighbors turned on each other, and Phelan’s wife was accosted in her own home. But hey, at least the memes were spicy, right?

In the end, the bill passed with bipartisan support (shocking, I know), proving that even in Texas, there’s a limit to how much nonsense people will tolerate. But let’s be real—this is just the beginning. Next session, we’ll probably debate whether politicians should be allowed to use AI to generate fake scandalous tweets from their opponents. And knowing Texas, they’ll probably vote yes.

So buckle up, folks. The only thing deeper than the fakes are the pockets of the people making them. And remember: in the Texas Legislature, the truth is optional, but the drama is mandatory.