EXPOSED: UT’s ‘Poll’ Is Just Another Deep State Plot to Destroy Texas (And Your BBQ)

Folks, the so-called "University of Texas"—or should I say, the University of Liberal Tears—just dropped another "poll" designed to make you think Texans are turning on President Trump and Governor Abbott. But let me tell you, this is nothing but Deep State propaganda cooked up in a woke Austin lab funded by George Soros and his tofu-eating cronies!

First off, they claim 50% of Texans disapprove of Trump. Really? Because last time I checked, every truck in Texas still has a Trump 2024 flag flying high—unless the radical left has started replacing them with Biden-Harris bumper stickers (which, let’s be honest, would immediately get keyed in a HEB parking lot).

And Abbott? Oh, they say his approval is tanking too. But here’s the truth: Greg Abbott could personally solve inflation by turning every dollar bill into a free Whataburger coupon, and the Austin elite would still whine because it’s not organic, gluten-free, artisanal enough for their delicate sensibilities.

Now, the pollsters want you to believe Texans care about healthcare costs and housing prices. Wrong! Texans care about three things: barbecue, football, and keeping California transplants from ruining our state. But of course, the fake news media won’t report that because they’re too busy crying about property taxes while sipping $8 oat milk lattes.

And let’s talk about their so-called "margin of error"—±2.83%? More like ±100% woke bias! This is the same university that thinks critical race theory belongs in kindergarten, so forgive me if I don’t trust their math.

Here’s the real poll: 100% of real Texans know that Trump and Abbott are fighting the good fight against the Bidenflation apocalypse and the illegal immigrant caravan that’s apparently just minutes from invading your backyard (according to my latest livestream).

So wake up, sheeple! These polls are just another psyop to make you doubt the MAGA movement. Don’t fall for it—unless you want Austin to turn into San Francisco 2.0, complete with homeless camps and vegan breakfast tacos (which, by the way, is a crime against humanity).

Stay vigilant. Stay based. And for the love of all that is holy, keep grilling meat.