I-35 Crash: Austin’s Latest Immobility Art Installation

Ah, another glorious morning in Austin, where the symphony of honking horns and the sweet aroma of exhaust fumes greet you like an old friend. Nothing says 'vibrant tech hub' like a complete standstill on I-35, am I right? Today’s featured attraction: a crash at Tech Ridge Boulevard, because why not add a little chaos to your morning commute? TxDOT, in their infinite wisdom, decided to close all northbound lanes—because clearly, the best way to handle a crash is to ensure no one moves at all. Genius.

But fear not, fellow road warriors! You can still enjoy the scenic route via Exit 243, where you’ll get to experience the true Austin charm: strip malls, half-built condos, and the occasional rogue scooter rider weaving through traffic like they’re in a Mad Max sequel. And let’s not forget the real MVP here—ozone. That magical blend of heat and car fumes that turns our air into a respiratory hazard. Six Ozone Action Days this year? Pfft. Those are rookie numbers. We need to pump those up if we’re serious about making Austin the next dystopian cityscape.

And hey, while you’re sitting in traffic, why not take advantage of that fall sale? Six months of news for 99 cents! Because nothing pairs better with gridlock than a subscription to your 'go-to source for essential news.' Act now, before the next crash turns your commute into a permanent parking lot. Stay disruptive, Austin. Stay disruptive.