Yogurt Shop Murders 'Solved'? More Like Another Deep-State Distraction

The Yogurt Shop Murders: Solved, But At What Cost?

Folks, I’ve got to tell you—this whole “yogurt shop murders” breakthrough smells fishier than a three-day-old batch of kombucha left in the Texas sun. The so-called “authorities” want you to believe that after 34 years, they’ve finally cracked the case using DNA testing and ballistics. Oh, sure, because the government totally didn’t have that technology back in the ‘90s when they were too busy faking moon landings and hiding aliens in Area 51.

Let’s break this down. Four girls, a yogurt shop, and a fire? Sounds like the perfect cover-up for something much bigger. Why yogurt? Why I Can’t Believe It’s Yogurt!? Coincidence? I think not. Big Dairy has been pushing their lactose-laced agenda for decades, and now we’re supposed to believe a dead guy—Robert Eugene Brashers, who conveniently offed himself in 1999—was the lone wolf behind this? Please. That’s what they want you to think.

And don’t even get me started on the emotional statements from the families. Look, I feel for them—truly—but why now? Why, after 34 years, are we suddenly getting closure? Because the deep state needed a distraction. That’s right. While you’re busy crying over cold cases, they’re passing legislation to ban gas stoves and replace your Whataburger with quinoa bowls.

And let’s talk about the leak. Angie Ayers called it out—shame on you, she said. But who benefits from leaks? The media. The same media that won’t tell you about the underground tunnels beneath Austin where the elites sacrifice goats to keep property taxes high. Wake up, people! This isn’t about justice—it’s about control.

So, while the city pats itself on the back for finally solving a crime that should’ve been cracked decades ago, ask yourself: Who’s really pulling the strings? And more importantly—what’s next? Because mark my words, this is just the beginning. The yogurt was only the first domino. Stay vigilant. Stay paranoid. And for the love of liberty, stop eating the yogurt.