EXCLUSIVE: Fort Worth Zoo’s ‘Lady Bird’ Elephant Exposed as Deep State Plant (Literally)

In a shocking turn of events that can only be described as deep state botanical warfare, the Fort Worth Zoo has officially named its newest baby elephant after none other than Lady Bird Johnson. Coincidence? I think not. Folks, this is just another example of the radical environmentalist agenda infiltrating our beloved Texas institutions—starting with the innocent minds of our zoo animals.

Let’s break this down. First, they name the elephant after a first lady who allegedly loved wildflowers. Then, they reveal the mother elephant is named Bluebonnet—a clear ploy to indoctrinate our children into believing that Texas’s natural beauty isn’t just a distraction from the real issues, like Big Flower’s stranglehold on our state’s landscaping industry. And don’t even get me started on the father elephant, Romeo. Sounds like a woke Shakespearean plot to normalize elephant polygamy—because, folks, this is Birdie’s third sibling. Third!

And how did they choose this name? By letting the public vote. That’s right—18,000 unsuspecting citizens were manipulated into endorsing this floral propaganda. Meanwhile, the other name options—Yellow Rose and Black-eyed Susan—were clearly designed to make Lady Bird seem like the moderate choice. Wake up, sheeple! This is how they get you. First, it’s a cute baby elephant. Next thing you know, they’re replacing Whataburger patties with soy-based alternatives and mandating that every Texan plant a native species in their yard.

But here’s the real kicker: Birdie is already 320 pounds and, according to the zoo, showing great signs of confidence and curiosity. Sounds like the perfect candidate for a future environmental activist—or worse, a zoo union organizer. Mark my words, this elephant is being groomed for something bigger. Maybe even a run for city council.

Stay vigilant, folks. The next time you see a cute baby animal at the zoo, ask yourself: Who’s really pulling the strings? And more importantly—where’s the beef?