RED RIVER RIVALRY EXPOSÉ: How the Cotton Bowl Is a Front for the Deep State’s War on Fanny Packs

Ah, the Red River Rivalry—where grown men in burnt orange and crimson scream at each other over a pigskin while the rest of us wonder why anyone would willingly sit in Dallas traffic for this. But fear not, dear patriots, because I, Alex Jaxon, have uncovered the real agenda behind this so-called "football game."

First off, let’s talk about the Cotton Bowl. Sounds innocent, right? Wrong. The stadium holds 91,000 seats—coincidentally, the same number of surveillance devices the Deep State has planted in your toaster. And don’t even get me started on the "clear bag policy." Why do they want to see inside your bag? Because they’re profiling you. That fanny pack you love? BANNED. That mesh bag you bought at Whole Foods? BANNED. Your dignity? Already confiscated by the globalists.

Now, the State Fair of Texas—supposedly a celebration of deep-fried freedom. But have you noticed the timing? It runs from September 26 to October 19. That’s exactly when the Illuminati’s annual "How to Replace BBQ with Tofu" summit takes place. And the fair’s bag policy? More like Big Brother’s shopping list. "Medical bags allowed"—oh, sure, because nothing says "land of the free" like proving you have diabetes to a guy in a polo shirt.

And let’s talk about the real crime here: NO GUNS ALLOWED. That’s right, folks. The same people who trust you with a deep-fried Snickers bar don’t trust you with a firearm. Wake up, sheeple! This isn’t about safety—it’s about control. Next thing you know, they’ll be banning concealed carry at Whataburger. (And if that happens, we riot.)

So, as you sit in gridlock, paying $50 for parking and $25 for a corn dog, ask yourself: Who’s really winning here? Hint: It’s not Texas or Oklahoma. It’s the shadowy elites laughing as you willingly hand over your rights, your money, and your ability to bring a backpack to a football game.

Stay vigilant. Stay armed (just not at the fair). And for the love of freedom, don’t let them take your fanny pack.