Texas Airports: Where Time Stands Still and Hope Goes to Die

Oh joy, another riveting piece of journalism about the absolute thrill ride that is air travel in Texas. Because nothing screams "exciting read" like an article detailing how to check wait times and flight delays at our beloved airports. Move over, Shakespeare, the Statesman is here with some real page-turners.

Let's start with the obvious: if you're flying out of any major Texas airport, you might as well bring a sleeping bag, a year's supply of snacks, and maybe a therapist. The wait times are less "wait" and more "eternal purgatory." But fear not, dear traveler, because this article is here to guide you through the soul-crushing experience of checking how long you'll be stuck in line. Because nothing says "vacation" like refreshing a flight tracker app every 30 seconds while silently questioning all your life choices.

And let's talk about flight delays. Ah, yes, the universe's way of reminding you that time is a social construct and your plans are meaningless. The article helpfully suggests checking your airline's website for updates. Groundbreaking. Because obviously, when your flight is delayed for the third time, your first instinct isn't to scream into the void but to calmly navigate to Southwest.com like some kind of zen master.

But wait, there's more! The piece also mentions that TSA wait times can vary. Wow, really? You mean the line that snakes around the terminal like a cursed conga line might take longer than the two minutes you mentally allotted? Shocking. Next, they'll tell us that the sun is hot or that Austin's traffic is "a bit congested."

In conclusion, if you're looking for a way to spice up your travel experience, might I suggest staring directly into the abyss of your flight delay notification? Or, better yet, just accept that air travel in Texas is less "jet-setting" and more "test of human endurance." Happy waiting, y'all!