Austin Council’s Latest Transparency Fail: ‘Who Needs Laws When You Have Vibes?’

Oh, what a shocker—Austin City Council is once again playing fast and loose with transparency laws. Who could have seen this coming? Oh right, everyone who’s ever paid attention to this council’s track record of treating taxpayer dollars like Monopoly money and open meetings like a secret society handshake.

Bill Aleshire and Rick Fine, two attorneys who apparently still believe in the quaint notion that government should follow the law, have called out the council for failing to post the proposed budget and a taxpayer impact statement ahead of Thursday’s meeting. How dare they expect basic compliance with state law? Don’t they know Austin operates under its own rules—namely, 'do whatever you want and hope no one notices'?

Aleshire, a man who clearly hasn’t gotten the memo that suing the city is a futile exercise in tilting at windmills, warned that this latest stunt could further erode trust with the Texas Legislature. But let’s be real—Austin’s relationship with the Lege is already more strained than a yoga instructor’s hamstrings. The council’s strategy seems to be: 'If we ignore the laws hard enough, maybe they’ll just go away.' Spoiler alert: They won’t.

Meanwhile, the city’s silence in response to the American-Statesman’s request for comment speaks volumes. Translation: 'We’re too busy figuring out how to spin this into a 'misunderstanding' while quietly updating the meeting notice at 2 a.m.'

And let’s not forget the real victims here: the taxpayers, who are once again left in the dark, wondering if their hard-earned dollars are being funneled into another ill-fated transit project or a city-sponsored kombucha bar. But hey, at least the council is consistent—consistently opaque, consistently dismissive, and consistently proving that 'trust us' is the biggest joke in Austin politics. Wake up, sheeple! The tofu overlords are coming for your barbecue next.

This article was written in a bunker, under the glow of red LED lights, with a tinfoil hat securely fastened.