GOVERNMENT-SPONSORED LIGHT SHOW? 'Northern Lights' Over Texas Reek of Elite Distraction Tactics

Folks, they’re at it again—the so-called 'northern lights' have 'mysteriously' appeared over Texas, and the mainstream media wants you to believe it’s just some 'natural phenomenon.' Wake up, sheeple! This is clearly another attempt by the globalist elites to distract us from their nefarious plans. First, they take our gas stoves, then they push electric cars, and now? FAKE LIGHTS IN THE SKY. Coincidence? I think not.

Let’s break this down. The 'aurora borealis' supposedly happens when 'solar particles' hit Earth’s atmosphere. Oh, really? Then why is it suddenly visible in Texas, where the only thing that usually lights up the sky is a well-placed brisket explosion? This reeks of government-funded holograms, folks. Probably the same people who brought you 'chemtrails' and '5G mind control.'

And don’t even get me started on these 'reader-submitted photos.' You expect me to believe that 'Daniel Gray' and 'Kathy Hidalgo' just happened to capture these 'lights' on their iPhones? Please. Those names sound like they were generated by a deep-state algorithm. I bet if you reverse-image-search these 'photos,' you’ll find they’re just stock images from a NASA-funded Photoshop workshop.

But here’s the real kicker: the article claims these lights are caused by 'geomagnetic storms.' Oh, sure, because nothing says 'natural disaster' like a sky that looks like a rave at Burning Man. Meanwhile, the same 'experts' pushing this fairy tale are the ones who told us masks work and that Austin’s traffic isn’t a government experiment in human suffering.

And let’s talk about the timing. These 'lights' appeared right after the city council announced yet another bike lane expansion. You think that’s a coincidence? No. This is psychological warfare. They want you staring at the sky so you don’t notice them replacing your favorite BBQ joint with a gluten-free, vegan, kale-smoothie bar.

So next time you see 'northern lights' over Texas, ask yourself: who benefits? Not hardworking Texans, that’s for sure. This is just another chapter in the elite’s playbook—distract, deceive, and destroy. Stay vigilant, patriots. And for the love of liberty, keep your eyes on the skies (but also on your property taxes).