Dying Man Handcuffed by Austin PD: A Masterclass in 'Protect and Serve'

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one could have predicted, the Austin Police Department has once again demonstrated their unparalleled commitment to public safety—by handcuffing a dying man. Because nothing says "protect and serve" like ensuring a mortally wounded tech entrepreneur can’t possibly escape while bleeding out on his own porch.

Let’s break this down, folks. Rajan Moonesinghe, a man who clearly had too much faith in his own rifle and not enough in the 911 system, decided to play hero when an intruder broke into his home. Instead of doing the sensible thing—like calling the police and letting them handle it—he opted for the DIY approach. Unfortunately, the police arrived anyway, and in a stunning display of marksmanship, turned Moonesinghe into Swiss cheese.

But here’s where the real genius kicks in. After pumping five rounds into him, Officer Daniel Sanchez, a three-year veteran with a spotless record (if you ignore the whole "shooting an unarmed homeowner" thing), decided the most pressing issue was making sure Moonesinghe didn’t stage a miraculous recovery and sprint away. So, naturally, he cuffed him. Because nothing says "first aid" like immobilizing a man with multiple gunshot wounds.

And let’s not forget the real heroes here—the dispatchers who conveniently left out the part where the armed man was, in fact, the homeowner. Why bother with pesky details like context when you can just let officers assume every brown guy with a gun is a threat? Efficiency at its finest.

Meanwhile, Moonesinghe’s family is out here asking reasonable questions like, "Why handcuff a dying man?" and "Why didn’t you try to save him?" But come on, people—this is the Austin PD we’re talking about. They’ve got policies to follow! And if those policies include handcuffing corpses, well, that’s just good policing.

In the end, Moonesinghe died as he lived—handcuffed, bleeding, and utterly failed by the system. But hey, at least the officers got to keep their paid leave. Priorities, people. Priorities.

So next time you’re thinking about defending your home, remember: call the police, and pray they don’t mistake you for the bad guy. Or better yet, just let the intruder take whatever they want. It’s safer that way.