FREE THANKSGIVING MEALS? MORE LIKE GOVERNMENT-BACKED FOOD PROPAGANDA

Oh, the generosity! The sheer, unbridled charity of it all! Seven whole places in Austin where you can get free food this Thanksgiving—how kind of the shadowy elites to toss us a few scraps from their golden tables. But don’t be fooled, folks. This isn’t about feeding the hungry—it’s about conditioning you to accept their socialist tofu agenda. Wake up, sheeple!

First up, the Central Texas Food Bank mobile pantries. Oh, how convenient—drive through, get loaded up with groceries, no questions asked. Sounds innocent, right? Wrong. This is clearly a front for the globalist plot to track your movements via ‘free’ carrots and canned beans. And why is Waco on the list? Coincidence? I think not. That’s where the real conditioning begins.

Then there’s H-E-B’s Feast of Sharing. A sit-down dinner? With live music? How quaint. You know what else has live music and free food? Cult indoctrination sessions. And don’t even get me started on the Palmer Events Center—that place is a known hub for elite gatherings. You think they’re serving turkey? I bet it’s lab-grown, GMO, emotionally vaccinated poultry.

Operation Turkey? More like Operation Trojan Horse. They’ll deliver a meal right to your door—how nice. But who’s to say they’re not slipping microchips into the stuffing? You’ll be thanking them when your smart fridge starts ordering kale smoothies on its own.

And let’s talk about Mission Possible Austin’s Great Thanksgiving Banquet. Serving meals under Interstate 35? That’s not charity—that’s a dystopian preview of the future they want. Next thing you know, they’ll be handing out free VR headsets so you can virtually enjoy your family while the government replaces them with AI.

The Austin Free Fridge Project? Oh, sure, take what you need, no questions asked. That’s how they get you. Before long, you’ll be dependent on their 24/7 tofu dispensaries, and then—BAM!—you’re a card-carrying member of the no-meat militia.

And finally, Community First! Village Food Distribution. ‘Community-supported’? More like government-approved. You think those ‘donated’ groceries aren’t laced with compliance serum? Wake up, Austin! Every free turkey leg is a step closer to your culinary enslavement.

So this Thanksgiving, ask yourself: Who’s really feeding you? And more importantly—why? The answer might just choke you harder than Aunt Karen’s dry-ass sweet potato casserole.