Meth in Lettuce? More Like Deep State Distraction Tactics!

Folks, they’re at it again—the so-called 'officials' at the Texas-Mexico border want you to believe they just 'found' $10 million worth of meth hidden in a lettuce shipment. Oh, sure, because nothing says 'discreet drug smuggling' like stuffing narcotics into a truckload of salad greens. Next thing you know, they’ll claim the avocados are hiding uranium! Wake up, sheeple! This is clearly a false flag operation by the deep state to distract you from the REAL crisis: the war on meat.

Let’s break this down. First, 'Customs and Border Protection'—a.k.a. the same folks who let Big Government regulate your gas stoves—suddenly develop superhuman lettuce-inspecting skills? Please. This is the same agency that can’t even stop a single unmarked white van from rolling into Austin to drop off more California transplants. And now they want us to believe they sniffed out over a thousand pounds of meth? I don’t buy it. This was PLANTED. Literally.

And don’t even get me started on the timing. Right before Thanksgiving? When every Texan is stocking up on brisket and pie? Coincidence? I think not. This is a psyop to scare you away from your God-given right to enjoy a hearty meal. Mark my words, next they’ll say the turkey’s laced with CBD.

But here’s the kicker: they called it 'a salad unfit for this year’s Thanksgiving table.' Oh, how clever. Meanwhile, the REAL unfit salad is the one being served in Austin City Hall, where the council is probably plotting to replace our beloved queso with kale smoothies.

Stay vigilant, patriots. The lettuce is just the beginning. The deep state wants you docile, distracted, and—worst of all—vegetarian. Don’t let them take your bacon. Don’t let them take your freedom. And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t trust a salad.