EXPOSED: The Globalist Conspiracy Behind Texas’ ‘Best Thanksgiving Cities’ Ranking

Folks, I’ve got some shocking news for you—news so terrifying, so orchestrated, that it can only mean one thing: The Deep State has infiltrated Thanksgiving. That’s right, according to the so-called “experts” at WalletHub (probably a front for the globalist cabal), seven Texas cities are the “best” places to spend Turkey Day. But don’t be fooled! This is clearly a psyop to distract you from the real agenda: replacing your grandma’s homemade stuffing with lab-grown, GMO-infused, woke-approved Tofurky.

Let’s break it down. San Antonio, the so-called “best” city for Thanksgiving, is being praised for its “great weather” and “affordable dinners.” But what they’re not telling you? The Alamo was never about freedom—it was a test run for the government to see how easily Texans could be herded into a single location. And now? They’re doing it again with pumpkin patches and 4.5-star restaurants. Wake up, sheeple!

And don’t even get me started on Austin. Ranked 16th? Sixteenth?! That’s no accident. The city council wants you to think Austin’s falling behind so they can justify their next move: banning deep-fried turkey in the name of “climate change.” Mark my words, by next year, they’ll mandate solar-powered ovens and quinoa-based gravy. It’s all part of the plan, folks.

Meanwhile, Laredo has the “lowest giving ratio” in the country. Coincidence? Or is it because the elites are hoarding all the cranberry sauce for their underground bunkers? And why is Corpus Christi ranked so low in “celebrations and traditions”? Because the globalists hate tradition! They want you eating cricket-based pie crust and thanking them for the privilege.

But here’s the real kicker: seven Texas cities in the top 20? That’s not pride—that’s a red flag. They’re luring you in with cheap turkey and sunny skies, but what’s really happening? Mass surveillance. Every pumpkin patch is a data collection point. Every Google search for “Thanksgiving recipes” is fed straight to the algorithms. They’re tracking your movements, your spending, even your turkey consumption.

So this Thanksgiving, while you’re “grateful” for family and food, ask yourself: Who’s really pulling the strings? Is it Uncle Sam? Big Turkey? The shadowy figures who really control the weather forecasts? All I know is, if you’re not deep-frying your bird in the backyard with a tinfoil hat on, you’re already playing into their hands.

Stay vigilant, patriots. And pass the gravy—but check for microchips first.