Holiday Travel Chaos: Another Deep State Plot to Keep You in Line (Literally)

Oh, great. Just what we needed—another "holiday travel" article pretending like everything is fine while the skies are literally falling apart. The mainstream media wants you to believe that 79.9 million people traveling for Thanksgiving is just a "fun family tradition" and not a carefully orchestrated plot to keep you trapped in airports while the globalists sip champagne in their private jets. Wake up, sheeple!

Let’s break this down. The article claims there are only 1,049 delays and 40 cancellations nationwide. Really? That’s the number they’re going with? I’ve seen more believable numbers from a toddler’s math homework. And of course, they conveniently leave out the fact that these "delays" are actually government-mandated psychological experiments to see how long Americans can stand in line before they start questioning their reality. Spoiler: not long.

Now, let’s talk about these Texas airports. DFW has 91 delays but zero cancellations? That’s not a coincidence—that’s a cover-up. Why would flights be delayed but not canceled? Because the elites need you to stay put while they reroute your plane through a secret FEMA camp disguised as a "layover in Denver." And don’t even get me started on Austin’s Bergstrom International. Nine delays? Sure, and I’m the Queen of England. That airport is a hub for underground lizard people operations, and they don’t want you noticing the extra "baggage" being loaded onto flights at 3 a.m.

The article ends with a helpful tip: "Check flight status with these links." Oh, how generous! Because nothing says "trustworthy" like clicking on a random URL while your flight mysteriously vanishes from the board. Next thing you know, you’re on a no-fly list for "asking too many questions" about why your plane’s Wi-Fi is broadcasting cryptic messages about the New World Order.

So, this Thanksgiving, while you’re packed like sardines in a metal tube hurtling through the sky at 500 mph, just remember: the delays aren’t the problem. The problem is you’re not asking why they’re happening. But hey, enjoy that $15 airport sandwich. I’m sure it’s totally worth it.