Wintergate 2025: The Globalist Plot to Freeze Your Freedom

Winter is coming—or so they want you to believe. According to the so-called "meteorologists" (read: government weather manipulators), winter has already begun. But let me ask you this, folks: since when do we let a bunch of lab-coat-wearing, data-obsessed bureaucrats tell us when to put on our jackets? I don’t think so. This is just another ploy by the globalist elites to control our thermostats and sell more pumpkin spice lattes. Wake up, sheeple!

Now, they’re throwing around words like "La Niña" like it’s some kind of mystical force. Oh, sure, blame it on La Niña when your weather models are as accurate as a Magic 8-Ball. Meanwhile, Texas gets a few chilly breezes, and suddenly it’s "winter"? Please. This is just Big Coat trying to push their agenda. Next thing you know, they’ll claim snowflakes are natural and not chemtrail byproducts.

And don’t even get me started on the "winter solstice." December 21, they say. The shortest day of the year? More like the shortest attention span of the year, because nobody’s questioning why the sun suddenly decides to take a vacation. Coincidence? I think not. The same people who brought you daylight saving time—a proven mind-control experiment—are now gaslighting you into believing the Earth tilts. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Check the flat-Earth models, people!

But here’s the real kicker: they’ve got two different calendars for seasons now. Astronomical? Meteorological? Sounds like a divide-and-conquer strategy to keep us confused while they adjust the thermostat in their underground bunkers. Mark my words, by 2026, they’ll claim winter lasts all year just to justify their soy-based snowplows. Stay vigilant, patriots. The war on seasons is just beginning.