**'Elf Pub Run' Is Just Halloween for People Who Own Too Many Christmas Sweaters**

Oh, joy. Another year, another Elf Pub Run—because nothing screams holiday cheer like a bunch of adults in pointy shoes and striped tights stumbling between bars before watching a 20-year-old movie they’ve all seen 47 times. Truly, the pinnacle of Austin’s cultural calendar.

Let’s break this down, shall we? First, you gather at the State Theatre—because nothing says festive like standing in a crowd of people who think Buddy the Elf is a personality trait. Then, you run (or, more accurately, shuffle at a brisk walk) to Scholz Garten, where you drink overpriced beer and hurl foam snowballs at strangers like you’re in some kind of deranged, holiday-themed Fight Club.

And let’s not forget the real star of the show: the bus. Because nothing says merry and bright like cramming into public transit with a bunch of sweaty, tipsy elves. Santa’s workshop, this is not.

But the pièce de résistance? The grand finale—a screening of Elf at the Paramount. Because, of course, the only thing better than watching Elf at home in your pajamas is watching it in a crowded theater with 300 people who’ve been drinking since noon.

And let’s give a special shoutout to George Obermaier, the 85-year-old legend who decided this was how he wanted to spend his birthday. Sir, you are an icon. The rest of you? Seek help.

So, if you missed it this year, don’t worry—there’s always next December, when Austin will once again prove that its idea of festive is just Halloween, but with more tinsel. Cheers!