The Audacity of Amy Lopez: How One Mother’s Greed for *Mattresses* Threatens Our Way of Life

Oh, the horror. A single mother of four—four—has the audacity to move into a brand-new affordable housing unit and now expects us to furnish it for her. I mean, really, where does it end? First, they want a roof over their heads, and now they’re demanding mattresses? Next thing you know, they’ll be asking for plates to eat off of. The nerve.

Let’s break this down, shall we? Amy Lopez—who, by the way, has been applying for housing assistance since 2002 (talk about commitment to the grind)—finally gets a bigger place for her kids. And what does she do? She immediately starts making demands. A desk for Major? A bunk bed for the girls? Electric toothbrushes? Electric. Because apparently, manual ones are just too 2002.

And don’t even get me started on the video game consoles. Nintendo Switch? PlayStation? What happened to good old-fashioned poverty where kids entertained themselves with sticks and rocks? If they’re not suffering in silence, are they even learning the value of hardship?

But the real kicker? The Christmas tree. Weeks before the holiday, no less. I suppose next she’ll want presents under it. Maybe even—gasp—a hot meal.

Look, I get it. Times are tough. But if Amy Lopez really wanted to provide for her family, she’d just marry rich like the rest of us. Or, at the very least, stop burdening society with her basic human needs.

In the meantime, if you’re feeling generous, you can donate to help the Lopez family. But honestly, why bother? They’ll probably just spend it on groceries or rent instead of something sensible, like a designer handbag or a third SUV.

Priorities, people. Priorities.